Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Before, as a businesswoman, I could, like, I am so type a. Everything was under my control. Like, now I have lost so much. I don't have that control with a newborn. Like, she's going to do what she's going to do right now.
[00:00:13] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:00:14] Speaker A: And I've had to understand that and flow with that. And I think, like, taking that into business, which I think my employees are probably getting a kick out of seeing me like this because they're like, thank you. That this is what she needed. Like, settle down.
[00:00:33] Speaker B: Welcome to Ace proudly touch for the superstars.
Hello. Welcome to another episode of Love and Business. I am Mick Arnold, president of Arnold Packaging and Arnold Automation.
[00:00:47] Speaker A: And I am Britt Arnold, president of Tegler Construction and supply.
[00:00:51] Speaker B: You know, Britt, before we get started today, we need to address an elephant in the room. You know, if you're an avid follower of the Lovin Business podcast, we owe you a sincere apology because you've been duped. Brit has been sitting over here all along as if nothing has been going on. Occasionally short of breath, you know, not tipping her hand at all, when all along she has been carrying this little nugget named Moxie. Seven pounds. And you can see she's a feisty one. She takes after her mother. So she has finally arrived and we are super, super excited about it.
Well, what a, what a nine plus month adventure. I can't remember how many weeks it is exactly, but I think it's a little over nine months. And I think, you know, for the viewers that do watch a lot, and I went back and watched a number of our episodes just coming into this, you definitely didn't tip your hand at all. It was virtually impossible to know that you were carrying mocks if you didn't know what to look for. And that obviously had me with a lot of questions. I think one, as a first time parent, for you, of course, there's all of these things that you think will be one way and they end up being something completely wrong. I think we'd probably call that a made up story on our podcast.
Can you think of one that you were certain was x based on everything you've been told or experienced? And just like that, it turned out.
[00:02:26] Speaker A: To be why I can't. And I will tell you why. Because growing up and even very recently, I never thought much about having children. Not that I wasn't disinterested, it just wasn't top of mind. For so long, I have been so focused on my career. It was either my career or my athletic. Well, that was a career to my athletic career. Athletic goals, but career. And that was top of mind. And I was motivated and driven to build the business we have today and, you know, other entrepreneurial ventures that we've worked on together. So even when we first started dating, my goals were all business, and they just. I just didn't have kids in mind.
All that to say. I didn't have a lot of made up stories because this wasn't necessarily, in my view, in my trajectory of life, like what I thought my life would be.
But I can certainly tell you this experience has been completely different than I could have ever imagined, had I been imagining it. And I think one question I should answer, because I'm sure it's on some people's mind, is, well, if it wasn't, if children wasn't something you thought about often, what changed? And maybe it was just getting to a certain point in my career, getting a little bit older, and you evolve and change as a human, but it was also being with you. And I tell a lot of people, when you are with the right person, at least for me, I wanted to have moxie or a child with you, period. It wasn't necessarily like, I want a kid. It was, I want a kid with you. And so I think when you're with the right person, I don't think I know what you want in life can change. And that completely changed for me. So she is a representation of us and, like, our relationship and what we've built, and that's everything I could have ever wanted. So that's answering that question. As far as motherhood, and let's just say parenthood, I'm sure it is very different, especially in the beginning, because mothers carry babies for nine months. I think that my relationship with moxie out of the womb is a lot different than yours. And I think for any mother, it's gonna be a lot different than the father to start.
But I can't. It's something I can't explain. Like, I am not typically short on words.
I haven't quite been able to wrap my head around motherhood or be able to explain it. It's the most amazing thing I've ever experienced in my entire life, like being with you and having a child. And I still can't put it into words. So maybe one day I'll try, but right now, I don't even feel confident enough. Cause I can't explain it. Like, it's so beyond words.
It is.
I was telling my parents about this. I'm like, how come I didn't know, like this, this is it, like this secret club, like all these people that are mothers and fathers know, like, how did I not know how incredible it is? Or was I not listening cause I didn't care or people not talking about it enough? Because I've been so fortunate to experience so many really incredible things in my life, and this is like nothing I can possibly explain to. It's like the emotion it brings out in me.
I don't know. I can't explain it.
[00:06:05] Speaker B: That's a great question.
I think one of the reasons that you may not have had a lot of time to get your head around some of the exact pieces is the first weeks are really hard. There's not a lot of excess bandwidth, there's not a lot of thinking time. And you are in such a reactive position so much in that, you know, yes, you try to plan, and there's so many more resources now than ever in the history of history as it relates to what to do and trusted advice and reviews and all the things that you lean on heavily. But, you know, it's like Mike Tyson said, I mean, everybody has a plan until you get punched in the face. And I think, you know, when, when baby arrives, that's like it. That's akin to getting punched in the face. And because they're all different, you know, they all, they all have their nuances, they all speak a little, little bit different language, which is like a puzzle that you have to figure out. And I would be interested, you know, as we go through the podcast and you have some of these epiphanies, and me too, of course, that would put those out there to the audience once maybe some of the fog clears as it relates to, you know, getting her acclimated and the fact that feedings happen every 2 hours, and that's 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
[00:07:19] Speaker A: Yeah, sure. There's all those very specific.
[00:07:21] Speaker B: Yeah, there's the fog of war that I think might have us a little bit unable at this exact moment, just six weeks in to figure out some of that stuff. But I completely agree with you, and I don't know, maybe there's that really intimate component of it that keeps you from screaming it from the hilltops, which seems like it would make sense.
[00:07:42] Speaker A: Yeah. And something my parents have always told me is having a kid. Like there is, you can't describe it, and there's no love like it. I think there is for your partner and then your children, and you can't describe that love until you have a child. And that is 100% true. But it's so much more than that for me.
I don't even know. And when I get obsessed and in love with things, I think maybe I feel that more than a lot of people, I am very extreme and obsessive, and not with a ton of things, but certain things. And so maybe I'm feeling that extremeness of this, but I think. I think obviously, a lot of people can relate. It just. It just amazed me, the whole experience and how I feel now and how little I've heard anybody talk about it. But again, maybe I just wasn't listening.
[00:08:34] Speaker B: Yeah, that could be.
[00:08:35] Speaker A: I don't know.
[00:08:36] Speaker B: That could be. I think there's some interesting topics for us to get into, too. So one thing I recall as we were setting up and, you know, doing our work for this episode, you know, I remember early in our pregnancy, we had conversations about being really intentional in keeping the news to ourself. You know, we just. We're not. This always cracks me up. I'm like, we're not public people as we sit here on a podcast for an hour and some change every other week. Certain things, but in certain things, right. I mean, I think our goals are on the podcast or when we're sharing it, is for that knowledge piece and, you know, don't do what we did. We almost blew it. But in general, you know, besides that, we are generally pretty, pretty private people and did that here.
What was your reasoning? Because this was one of those where I had my reasons and we agreed that that made sense, but I'm not sure we actually hammered it out, which is like, okay, sounds good. Back as you were back about our business for nine months, and that was one that occurred to me as I.
[00:09:29] Speaker A: Was thinking about this, and I have to touch on that. It was possible because I had a really good pregnancy, so I didn't experience. Yeah, there were tough times in pregnancy, of course, but any of the typical, you know, morning sickness or things that would take women out and down during pregnancy, and I wasn't showing very early or not a ton. So there were so outside looking in. We were. It was just my. My stomach was. My belly was discreet enough. Right. You know, and I had just a really good pregnancy. I was able to move the whole time. I was able to work the whole time. So I was really lucky and fortunate in that regard to make that possible. But my reasonings, I had a few, a couple of the ones more prominent, I would say, was one I just really loved the ability to relish in the experience with you. And it was just such a amazing and intimate time for us and for us just to experience together. Now, we did tell family, but not all immediately with some time very close family knew, but that was it.
And just to have that, like that small group of people, but mainly just you and I and know and be able to share that, like, that was just like a really amazing time. We didn't have all the noise. Nobody else knew. We could just share it together. I love that piece.
Secondly, I was very conscious and mindful of not raising any red flags or raising any concerns with my employees, who, of course, we did tell. You know, we had to prep, and that's the respectful thing. Of course we want them to know, but later in the game, but my ven, you know, vendors and customers, I did not want anybody to be concerned that things would change, that my pregnancy would somehow be, have me removed from the company, that my relationship with the. With the business and with them, thus them would change any of that. Like, I just didn't want to go there and I didn't want anything to change.
And I had my employees in mind, you know, I didn't want the business affected and reading through, so I was reading through different women's experiences that were. All of these women I was reading about were entrepreneurs, and they owned companies much like myself. And some of them, a couple of them said in this interview that had they had the opportunity to go back when they were pregnant, they would have not shared the news with some of the people, the customers they worked with. And some of them had even gone on to say that they had lost business in the process because people were concerned that they were pregnant and they weren't going to be able to deliver on whatever it was, especially solo entrepreneurs, which. And I kept that in mind, and that made sense. And it's sad, but I understand why someone might think that. And truth be told, pregnancy and children, they can change you. I understand that. And there are times where maybe you won't be able to deliver in the same way you would. I didn't have that. So that was something. As I was reading those experiences and some of that insight, I was listening, and I really took a lot of that to heart. And that was one of the biggest factors for me.
[00:12:57] Speaker B: Yeah, I think that that, that sucks a little bit. Just the idea that, you know, if, if I were to announce your pregnancy, there wouldn't be a run on customers, right. There wouldn't be this perceived risk about, you know, Mick's wife being pregnant, but you as a business owner. And for the one. The one woman you were describing, to say that, that her customers even preemptively left because of their fear of risk somewhat blows my mind. And maybe I'm naive or I'm just, you know, I'm looking for a future that doesn't look like this one in spots, but I hope if we correct some things along the way, that that would be one of the things. And also, too, just, you know, the idea that, yes, a very strong entrepreneur, you're the founder, but if you have the trust in that person that you should, you would understand that they would have built an organization that was very strong with the right teammates, that that was as unassailable as they could make it. We've used the word unassailable here before. Um, and. And that that would be the trust level to say, well, yeah, of course, that's wonderful for Britt, but at no point do I ever experience this as risk, such that I need to take my business elsewhere just in case something happens. Cause that's what you'd be doing.
[00:14:08] Speaker A: That's a great point. And that's exactly what my team and I did. We huddled together and they really showed up. I don't think we missed a beat. I mean, I was able to pretty much where, other than the week we were in the hospital and could. You can't for anyone that hasn't had a child, like, when you're in the hospital, people are coming in every five minutes, there's appointments like it is. I don't think I was able to send an email out for three days without getting interrupted in a good way. They gotta take care of you. But other than that week, you know, I was able to work through it, but my team showed up and we were able to prepare, and that's really important. You do have to build that, those right team members, for all different reasons. But if you are female or a male and you aren't planning on having a family, like, just another reason to build a solid team so you can take a little bit of time or have time if you need it.
[00:14:57] Speaker B: Right? Yeah, no, absolutely. Totally agree. But, yeah. And, yeah, I agree. But that was when we finally doubled back. I'm glad you shared that with the audience, just because in 2024, that is still potentially a thing.
[00:15:08] Speaker A: Yeah. And I didn't want to come off as disingenuous or like we were hiding something, because that wasn't the intention at all.
[00:15:14] Speaker B: No. So, yeah, interesting.
I think for my part, I was even a little more focused on the science behind it. Clearly, I'm on the older side of being a dad, and.
[00:15:32] Speaker A: And me, too, by.
[00:15:34] Speaker B: That's right.
[00:15:34] Speaker A: Technically, I'm geriatric.
[00:15:36] Speaker B: You're geriatric. And I am really effing geriatric. I said, see, tommy, I didn't do that because I didn't want the YouTube algorithm to be upset with me. But it's very true, and that's how I feel about it.
So I was. I think I was a little more attuned to, you know, if something happened, you know, or if it wasn't meant to be, just because it gets harder as you get older on both sides, you know, the piece that I contribute. The piece that you contribute. So I was very okay just keeping that information to us for all the reasons that you said, but just taking it one step further. Gosh, if something happened, that's not something that I would want to have to walk back or explain away in a really public forum.
[00:16:10] Speaker A: And I, too. That was another reason, certainly, for sure.
[00:16:16] Speaker B: Yeah. So that was. That's a good one. So, again, six weeks in, I think.
[00:16:23] Speaker A: I've seen six weeks today.
[00:16:24] Speaker B: Six weeks today, it seems like. Yeah, I feel like I'm in interviewer mode today, which is great. Cause you do such a good job of interviewing me.
What's changed? You know, and what, what, in what, six weeks is nothing unless you're up every 2 hours around the clock. Six weeks is something different. But what's changed? What's different? I mean, a couple things. You put your. Put your fingers on that. That's different.
[00:16:45] Speaker A: A couple things would be impossible. Everything's changed, right? Like, literally everything. And that's just another thing I would have never expected.
My entire. Obviously, life has changed, but I have changed. And again, I feel like I can usually explain things. So far, I have not been able to explain any of this. I can't wrap my head around it, but I am not the same person, and I can't explain it. I don't know. I feel like I've shed the old me, not all of the old me, but just grown into a new one in so many ways. And I'm still figuring it out. I think I'm still figuring out who I am. I think a lot of women that have babies, especially women that are really career oriented, and I've identified as that for so long, then you have a kid.
For me, the challenge has been I've leaned into being a businesswoman, and because of that, I have been, I wouldn't say not emotional, but, you know, very assertive and I've had this identity for a reason, and it hasn't been a Persona, but I've. I've been this way because it has helped accelerate my business for so long, and I have become that person. And so now I'm like, okay, well, that has been my identity, and that has helped what I believe get me ahead in certain things and allow me to grow a business and athletic career. And I don't want to lose that. But I also just don't feel like that person anymore. I feel so parts of that, but I don't feel that entirely. And now I feel just different. I don't know. I can't really describe it, but a whole different person.
[00:18:25] Speaker B: But none of that is because this.
[00:18:27] Speaker A: Is my observation and I'm working through it. I think that's part of what I'm trying to say. I'm working through all this.
[00:18:32] Speaker B: But from my side, as a person that's been with you dawn to dusk for over six years now, I haven't experienced anything different from a get it done perspective, from a tenacity level as it relates to doing business, to my way of thinking. And I think your team would agree if they were sitting here listening, you know, the same killer business person with comparable tenacity and all the things that you think might go away. I haven't experienced any of that. I mean, even watching you, you know, this evolution that you've gone through in transitioning to being a mom and everything that goes with that, I haven't seen any drop off as it relates to getting things done and what it takes and the drive that it takes to be a business owner while also being a mom.
[00:19:23] Speaker A: So I don't believe it has. I don't think I've misdebeat or the company's misdebeat. I don't think. I mean, that's my.
[00:19:30] Speaker B: You don't know what you don't know.
[00:19:31] Speaker A: Yeah, but I would agree wholeheartedly. And here's the things that have changed. So my motivations have changed. So, like, my desire to do and to succeed is maybe even more, more now, but it's because of her and, like, for the family. I just thought of something. I have to write this down really quickly.
And as I was building a business when I was younger, in my twenties, I thought that it was about money. I wanted to make a lot of money, and I wanted to make a name for myself and all these things. And I think some of that was my motivation, and I think that is for a lot of us. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't. And, you know, as we start to achieve those things, as we build businesses, and that's. That's great. And I wanted all that for a long time. But as I've been sitting there with, with moxie and you, like, maybe doing nothing, maybe doing absolutely nothing, I think to myself, well, this is what it was all for. It was never for the money. It was never for anything else. It was like to build myself, to be the person that I could be, to have a family and to be a mother. Like, this is what I've worked so hard for. And now I'm living in, like, this is it. This is it. And the things that I once thought were productive, which would be working. And sometimes working on things that it need to be now might be like running with her or like, going on a walk with her or being the three of us in a room doing nothing. Like that is productivity to me. So, like, my whole mindset about what is productive has changed.
My value of time has completely changed. So I am working. I'd be lying if I said I was working as much. I'm not working. Not nearly as much. I'm working a lot less. The hours are less.
[00:21:29] Speaker B: You're so let's be very clear, though.
[00:21:31] Speaker A: Because hours are less in quantity.
[00:21:33] Speaker B: Right, right.
[00:21:34] Speaker A: But they are laser focused. And the.
They're very. They're sharp. They're clear, they're focused. So I think I'm getting just as much done in a lot less time. And it has me question what? A, where was I spending all this free time? Where was all this free time going? Because, like, I, a child takes up so much time. Like, what was I doing with that time? I think I was probably wasting a lot of it. And b, was I working so much on so many things that didn't matter? Because I can tell you now, with getting just as much done, I think with so many less hours, the answer is yes. So now I'm learning what matters and what doesn't. And some of the stuff that doesn't matter, you just don't need to spend time on it. You don't just sit in front of a computer. You don't have to feel that pain. Sometimes we feel like the more is better, the more painful it is, the better. And I'm sitting here now on the other side being like, that's not true at all. Like, I've got to shift my mind around that it's okay to not have to work. And I think I am going to find a happy medium. And let's not, let's not get it twisted. We're in six weeks, we're feeding her every. She needs so much right now. And so I think there's going to be a time where she's not going to need quite as much. And maybe I am able to pick up a few more hours. But there's a happy medium that I'm learning now that I probably overworked and it was totally inefficient. What's the diminishing returns law of diminishing? And I think I'm experiencing or realizing that.
So I just value time in such a different way and I don't waste a moment. Like, I am not sitting scrolling on social media or anything like that. Cause every time I do that, it's 1 minute away from her. And that is so crystal clear to me. So squandering away time.
[00:23:29] Speaker B: Well, that's some of the time that probably got reallocated too, right? Where when you did. I mean, that whole idea of time. I mean, of course, time is a very, is a finite resource, right. They don't make any more of it. It's exactly what, what it is. But when you have a significant life change like that and you have something vying for massive amounts of your time, all of a sudden, all those fringe things that seemed like, you know, you just talk about scrolling on social media, right? If you had time to do it, be like, yeah, I have time. So I will. I will throw some of my disposable time, disposable income, disposable time at that. Not something you'd ever dream of doing now, ever. Never.
[00:24:06] Speaker A: So, you know, it's. My motivations have changed. I, my perspective on a lot of things have changed. My value of time, my understanding of love has completely changed and I guess hasn't completely changed, but when you enter a child, and I think my understanding of love has expanded, I would say, and evolved. The other thing, too, that has been something I didn't necessarily expect is how much this has brought our family together. You know, I didn't think it would be possible to get closer with my parents and my sister, but this whole experience, I think it's done that for us. And it's been incredible getting to see my parents become grandparents and my sister become an aunt, which I did not expect. And what a child and a baby can do for family and just growing the bond that's, that's been really just so great. Like, to spend that time and to, I don't know, just something I knew. I knew it would bring us all together even more, but that's been a very, very cool thing to experience.
[00:25:20] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah.
[00:25:21] Speaker A: Totally agree. And I would just go back to, like, the motivation piece. So one thing I do want to touch on because I think it's cool, and I want to. One thing I want to do is document the journey a little bit. So I've got. And, you know, this. One of the things we've talked about, I want to get into ultramarathons, like, so much. And this whole time we were talking about it, I was pregnant. So I knew, like, I couldn't go after that goal, but now I can. So one of the things I wanted to do is, within six to eight months postpartum, run an ultramarathon, which is really hard if you're a woman and you know what your body goes through. I mean, it's a very challenging goal, but I really want to set it. And now my motivation is, like, I can't wait to see you and Moxxi at the finish line.
[00:26:04] Speaker B: Right.
[00:26:04] Speaker A: Like, it's. It's like, I think about it constantly, and so that's.
[00:26:09] Speaker B: That's a motivator.
[00:26:10] Speaker A: Yeah. Yes.
[00:26:11] Speaker B: So, inspiration, for sure.
[00:26:12] Speaker A: Inspiration. Inspiration. Motivation. Both, I think both.
[00:26:15] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:26:17] Speaker A: I could keep going on here, but I do want to punt that back to you.
Do you feel.
Do you understand what I'm saying when I say I don't feel? I don't feel like I've lost my old self, but I definitely don't feel like my old self. I feel like a new person.
[00:26:37] Speaker B: Yeah, I do.
[00:26:38] Speaker A: I think you might be able to articulate it.
[00:26:39] Speaker B: Yeah, I'll try. If anything, it might be a little different for me only because having three daughters, I have some familiarity with the experience that you don't have yet. But am I different? Yeah, sure. And I don't know that I will attempt to.
I would say that all the things that we discuss together as a duo. Right. Our experience of the last six weeks together and the scarcity of time. Let's use. That's a great word. The scarcity of time. And it's really not. There's exactly the same amount of time now as there was on the day before or the week before, but how that time gets consumed. And one thing that I have been very intentional about is making sure that while the demands of my time have gone up. Right. Because when you have a newborn, it consumes being very intentional about not letting it take away from certain things that are super important, like the girls so I would say that's something that I've been hyper aware of in making sure that if there's a scarcity of time, that it never gets taken from them, that something else will have to get sacrificed or I'll have to get more productive. Right. We talk about productivity all the time. How do I, with my time being, fragmented a little bit more? I'm trying to pick the right words here, so I explain it to the audience correctly.
I either have to get more productive, meaning I have to get more output out of that static input, because I have 60 minutes in every hour and 24 hours in every day, or I have to eliminate some of those things. Something that I've been hyper aware of, and I always have been. But Brooke Grace in Olivia and making sure that no matter what happens, that they don't ever get shorted for time and done correctly. If we all spend more time together, which is what you just talked about as a byproduct of this, then I would be with them more minutes and hours, not less minutes and hours.
[00:28:51] Speaker A: Yeah. And it's a really unique situation, and I think, really, I hope, blossoms into just this amazing thing for the old, as we'll call them, the older girl, the three older girls. And moxie. Like Moxie. Getting to learn and have these older women in her life as role models. I mean, they're, you know, they're gonna be her role models with that age difference, and then hopefully them being able to embrace her. And I just. I'm excited to watch that develop and also equally dedicated to making sure that, you know, we are prioritizing all of them and the relationship as a whole and as a, like a family.
But that just goes back into that prioritization and realizing what matters and what doesn't. Like it immediately slaps that into focus, like the forefront and center.
[00:29:44] Speaker B: Yep. Absolutely. Yeah.
Couple more ideas. Obviously, we're talking a lot about love today, not as much about business, which is pretty cool. I think. We do. We do. In our 37 episodes, I think it is that we posted so far. We do get into this every so often. The other thing that occurred to me, too, we talk about a lot of crossover experiences.
And until now, the biggest crossover experience we talked about was athletics, you know, your soccer and my golf, and how that has made us into more fierce competitors, how it's affected our preparation, you know, how we go after preparation in ultimately winning the game called business, which is the one we play now on a day in and day out basis. I guess one thing I was thinking about is, have you identified any, you know, crossovers that would make you be a better mom? There's this whole new, this whole new component. And what are those crossovers? Or how do those crossovers affect being.
[00:30:45] Speaker A: A mom and vice versa? How being a mom could help me be a better business person. So I think I will never forget one of my, one of my teammates just coming in one day telling me. I was like, you know, he's like, you're pretty guarded, Brit. Like, you don't share a lot. And me thinking, I tell him everything. I'm like, what? Like, I share everything. And this experience has definitely made me. And I don't. I hate the word emotional, but maybe more vulnerable or I think just this ability to open up a little bit, and I think that is truly gonna help me as. As a business owner, not in the way of being weak. Nothing that looks like that. Just being more open and honest and raw. And, you know, as, you know, I don't. And this has nothing to do, again, this is gonna sound weak, but I don't cry or really show emotion, and I've showed more emotion in the last six weeks than in our entire six, seven years of being together. Oh, yeah. And part of that for me is just, like, when you have a child, something I just. When you have a child, they are so helpless and selfless and pure and innocent. Like, the most. They've the most innocent thing, and, like, they are completely. You are responsible for them. So anything that goes wrong or they don't get, it's. It's on you. It's just, like, responsibility, and you just feel so. I feel that so deeply. Like, so deeply that I just get, like, when I look at her face, I just like, oh, my God, I get emotional just talking about it.
But I do think that's gonna help me as business person, just maybe even to understand people better or people that have children, for one. Like, now I understand, like, when they're talking about their kids stuff, like, I want you to. I've always wanted my employees to go experience things with their kids, and that now I really want them to. Now I understand what it means. So I just. I think I'm going to become a much better business leader. The other thing with moxie that I love so much is, and this is every single minute of every single day, because she's only six weeks, is everything that she does is new, and it's a first time for her.
[00:33:03] Speaker B: Right.
[00:33:03] Speaker A: And when you get to see a human life, experience everything for the first time, like, see something for the first time or learn something for the first time.
It's like nothing I. You can explain to. Apparently, I can't explain anything, but that's what I feel. That's why this is so crazy to me, because I can usually talk things through and I can't yet, but. And I have gone down this rabbit hole now because, again, I feel so deeply responsible for this innocent, helpless soul, sweet soul, so that we've gone down the rabbit hole of, like, how do you develop? How do I give her every opportunity to explore and develop and become the best human that she can be? And that has become a real curiosity for me because I love her so much. And it's like this pursuit of curiosity, much like business has been for me and, like, just wanting to learn as much as I can about parenthood and being a great mom and the things I can do to help elevate her as a human. And so I think, like, that piece of it is so relevant to business because I've been the same with business. I've gone down every rabbit hole. How can I be the best business leader? How can I build this business and this team? And, you know, we look at all these strategies and approaches, and I listen to podcasts and I read and I execute all this. It's very, very similar now. It's just in a different lane.
[00:34:30] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:34:32] Speaker A: What do you feel? How do you feel about that?
[00:34:34] Speaker B: Again, completely agree. I think that one thing I did, I was going to interject, but then I would have just interrupted you. Just that idea of weakness. I mean, I think our audience probably knows this already, but I. We're rarely, if ever, talking about weakness when we're talking about sharing things. I mean, do we talk about. I mean, vulnerability is the right word, which is not a bad thing or a negative thing ever on the love and business podcast show. So I.
Man, feel voice.
[00:35:02] Speaker A: See, you're being vulnerable.
[00:35:03] Speaker B: Holy shit.
[00:35:04] Speaker A: See, you wanted to model. You wanted to model.
[00:35:07] Speaker B: I did. I did. I just wanted to show everybody how that works.
[00:35:10] Speaker A: Yes, but, no, I agree. And I'm learning that. I'm learning it as you see how people respond and react to it, and people are receptive to that because it's relatable and it shows you give a shit. Like, the things you care about.
[00:35:29] Speaker B: Do you feel like that vulnerability is so back. It's actually a love of business thing. Do you feel like that is. I have mentioned many times on this podcast how I got it wrong as it relates to the newer generations that are coming through. You know, Tommy's, Tommy's generation and the generations between me and the ones that are now entering the workforce.
Do you feel like vulnerability is any more valued now than it was in the past? We know in the past whether, you know, the boomers, there was nothing that looked like vulnerability from them. Do you feel like that's more valued, actually? More valued?
[00:36:04] Speaker A: Yeah, I think it's talked about a lot more. What I've seen is, though, on, I do think it's more valued. So. So much so that I think there's a.
How do I put this? A performative vulnerability where people are trying to embrace and it's almost an act.
[00:36:22] Speaker B: Oh, right. So in absent authenticity. Right.
[00:36:25] Speaker A: Yes, I see a lot of that, especially on social media. It's like this Persona, but when you have, like, the real camp, can't fake it, can't hide it. I am raw and vulnerable and feeling this so, so deeply. You can't mistake that. Like, it's. It's so obvious. And I think it's more. I do. I think it's more valued, more acceptable, maybe more talked about, right?
[00:36:50] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:36:51] Speaker A: Do you not?
[00:36:51] Speaker B: No, I do. I do. I. Again, I don't. I don't do as much. I'm not in the social media realm nearly as much. So I'm looking forward in business. And I. I would say there's definitely a lag there. And maybe it's just that in business, you don't. Unfortunately, I'll say this the way, unfortunately, you don't get the opportunities to experience that with as many people as you would like to either, because you're moving at such high pace, and your business relationships are your business relationships, and you just don't get a lot of time to dig much underneath of that initial layer. You don't get to dig closer to the core. So maybe that's why it feels little apps. And until you do have people in the business world that you do get to know over time, and you spend enough time, you get past the updates of current events. You and I talk about that all the time. One of the greatest things about this podcast for us is we get way past current events, right? I mean, we don't. We don't come home from work and sit in the same space and tell each other about in a ten minute period about our day, right. We get super deep here, and then that just infiltrates everything else about our lives. So I think back to your question about vulnerability in the business world. I think if it feels more absent, it's simply because you don't get as much time to dig past the surface layer, the current updates, events or whatever the business topics are that you truly have to transact together or you truly have to work through. When do you grab one of your really trusted, valued customers and say, how are you, man? Or how are you, Sally? Or female, male? It doesn't matter. It doesn't happen enough. And maybe that's why some of that, but you don't experience that, or you get to see that in the business world. That said, there still are a lot of people in the business world who don't think it's okay to share that, that it would be weakness. And go back to your point about the female in the podcast who lost business to show that vulnerability. Anything that could look like weak could look like risk, right? And then you jump down that rabbit hole from vulnerability, which is just, you know, hopefully a very authentic human emotion, to weakness, which then translate to risk, which would then have consequences. And that sucks.
That's the part of it where it gets just off track and would have people like my dad, my dad would be like, well, that's right. That's why you shove that vulnerability crap in the drawer where it belongs. So that's one of the differences for sure.
[00:39:22] Speaker A: I think another crossover would be for mothers and fathers is when you have a baby, particularly newborns, but just kids, you lose control, all of your control. Like you, you before, as a businesswoman, I could like, I am so type a. Everything was under my control. Like, now I have lost so much. I don't have that control with a newborn. Like, she's going to do what she's going to do right now.
[00:39:51] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:39:52] Speaker A: And I've had to understand that and flow with that. And I think, like taking that into business, which I think my employees are probably getting a kick out of seeing me like this. Cause they're like, thank you. This is what she needed. Like, settle down.
[00:40:06] Speaker B: You don't get to call the shots here anymore.
[00:40:09] Speaker A: Just a little story. When we were create, when we were in our meeting where we were creating our company values, which you were leading for us, one of the, I think one of the words I came up with was like, intensity. And my whole team was like, no.
[00:40:23] Speaker B: We don't value that nearly as much.
[00:40:24] Speaker A: We don't value like that. They're like, you are intense. We don't. And so now I think they're laughing like, oh, like. Cause you have to like reign, you have to. Some of that just goes away. And so I think now being able to roll with the punches a little bit. Like, if I could not work out just tiny example at, like, four in the morning, I. Before I had.
[00:40:45] Speaker B: You were a bear.
[00:40:46] Speaker A: It was horrific. Like, that would wreck my entire day. Like, okay, I'm gonna. I'm gonna get it done, but it could be at any time. Like, just. That's a very little example, but this has pervaded my entire life. And, like, yeah, I don't. I'm out of control right now in the best way, and I understand it, and I'm learning how to deal with that. So I think that's another thing to mention. A great crossover that could. A lot of this is making how a mother would make me a better business person and not the opposite, but I'm sure it could goes both ways.
[00:41:17] Speaker B: Well, I think I've got to watch you firsthand. I mean, I hope it's okay that I say this. Your incredible discipline around diet prior to being pregnant, it was great for me to watch you be able to expand some of your horizons and not blame it on Mox, necessarily. But you give up some of that selfishness. I mean, when you're operating exclusively for yourself, you can be selfish. I mean, that is a thing. And when it came to, you know, knowing that you were growing a baby and had her to feed, too, that, you know, it's like, why? I can't do that. You know, I'm eating for two, and I. And I have to make sure that I'm getting her the nutrients and the diet that she needs, which I know is incredibly uncomfortable for you, especially early on, where it's like, wow, I'm supposed to eat that? And that's going to be good for us. And, you know, giving up, you know, giving up, that type of control has been interesting to. For me to watch from you as well as close as we are, as well as I know you.
[00:42:15] Speaker A: Yeah. And that was.
[00:42:17] Speaker B: But you did it. And kudos to you.
[00:42:19] Speaker A: Well, yeah. And that was. I mean, I'm not, again, for being open and vulnerable here because I know a lot of women struggle with it, or a lot of people struggle with it. It was beyond discipline. Like, it was getting into. Just so restrictive. And, like, with five or six years, I've really struggled with that.
And I want to hit on that because I have this big word written on the paper, and it's selfless.
[00:42:41] Speaker B: Right.
[00:42:42] Speaker A: And that is like one of the.
If I had to pick one word about parenthood, it is that you truly become selfless. And it's the most freeing and amazing thing. Like, I really my needs, of course they're important. You have to care about yourself to be able to care about anybody else. We get it, yada, yada, yada. But truly selfless she right now, and not just she. Family is really the only thing that matters. And my needs are so secondary. And I might have said that before, but until you're a parent, I don't think you can really embrace that. And it's the most, it's the best feeling ever to feel like her needs are really number one. And you will do anything for that. But I do want to continue on, just on this thread and this train of thought with the idea about the crossover between business and being a parent because I think the next question a lot of people will have is, well, Nick, how do you intend to have a very young child and run your business? And probably the same to me, or do you, do you intend to have like these same goals and continue to build your businesses? I mean, I think that would be the next question a lot of people would have. What do you, what are your thoughts on that?
[00:44:01] Speaker B: Yeah, I do. I think so. One thing I do want to say, and if my, you know, as the father of a 22, 20 and 16 year old, I am certainly guilty of some selective memory. You know, I can promise you I don't exactly remember the newborn days of Brooke, Grace and Liv. But what I can tell you now, six weeks in, is it's hard. It really is. It's, it's hard. And I'm, I'm saying that for a, because it's the truth. And I think it's important that that's mentioned, you know, that the two hour feedings and the demands while still running a business. And this is all part and parcel to your question, is, look, my intention would be to do exactly what I have done all along. You know, and we've always talked on here about the reason we do it is because the rising tide does raise all boats and those boats are more important than ever to me. I mean, I don't intend to stop doing what I do and busting ass to raise the tide for all of the boats just because we have a daughter. That hasn't changed my focus.
If anything, I think it's probably steeled. It's made me very aware that to get it all done is going to take a different type of focus and a different type of planning and a different type of preparation and it might take more hours. I might have to do both. I might have to infuse a little more input because of the bandwidth requirements elsewhere. Brooke, Grace and live and Mox, they will not sacrifice time in the process. So it hasn't changed at all. Nothing of the sort has changed. But it's definitely demanding. And I have all the respect. I mean, you know, we do it together. We're each doing half of the whole, which we've talked about on here. And we have help. We have a tremendous amount of help. And it is still a very, it is a, it's a challenge. Like, it's. It's hard.
[00:45:49] Speaker A: Yes. I do want to emphasize that we have a lot of help. We have family.
You know, we just had an au pair come in on Monday, which we'll talk about that because I've, you know, it's. You struggle, too, with being a new mom and then bringing in help. Like, that's really challenging, too. It's. So much happens at once that you're trying to understand.
[00:46:12] Speaker B: Right. But challenging because pawning her off like that was, that was the term that you used. Right? Because I want to. Challenging. What do you mean, challenging? Extra hands or extra hands? No, there's the emotional side of handing your child over your firstborn to go back to work, if you will. Right. That's, that's the battle.
[00:46:29] Speaker A: And. Yes. Yeah. Well, I don't even want to go down that lane. But we will.
[00:46:33] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:46:34] Speaker A: So it would be unfair if we didn't say that we have help because I think if you don't, you're in a different situation. I don't think I know how single parents do it. Like the real mvp's. Holy shit. I don't know. Wow. Just incredible. And single parents do not get enough love and probably support and shout outs because this shit is hard. And I just don't know how you do it by yourself.
But to, yes, end what you said. I think for me, it has just steeled and solidified even more. Like, I even more now want to grow a great business. And really it's about the people. Like, grow a business with great people and build great people and give a lot of people an opportunity and a great quality of life and do that with maybe multiple businesses. Also pursue athletic endeavors. And I think one thing. I was listening to a podcast today talking about how as a parent, your kids are always watching, which we know she's too young to understand, but she will one day. And there's a difference between kids seeing. Watching you and watching you in the trenches getting dirty as opposed to just sitting behind a computer.
I want my kids to be able seeing me get dirty. Maybe not.
What's the word? Not literally.
[00:48:02] Speaker B: I literally get dirty.
[00:48:04] Speaker A: Well, I mean, like, running on a trail and an ultra marathon. They're gonna see me, just see us. The hard work. There's something about that turning wrenches out back.
[00:48:13] Speaker B: Literally turning wrenches.
[00:48:14] Speaker A: The real stuff. Like, I don't know if they're gonna get as much between seeing your parents at home on a computer for 8 hours. Like, let's get in there, let's do this stuff. Like, that's what I want her to see and all of the girls to see. So I have no intentions. And it's gonna look different and how we get there and the approach might be different, at least for now. Like, definitely for now. But that figure, it's all about the figure it out factor.
[00:48:40] Speaker B: Look, I think we've given our real time, we've given our listeners a glimpse into what they can expect going forward.
[00:48:47] Speaker A: Yeah, we have so much more to now share content. I also have now realized the challenges and also the beauty of being a woman and being very career minded and also having a child and doing. Wanting to do both and being able to do both. And I think that is something that so many other women are thinking about, are struggling with, are one desiring. And so I intend to put out with you a ton of content about that. And I'm hoping that the audience, particularly, you know, particularly the female audience, has.
Will want to share in that and collaborate in that, because it's wild. And I'm, again, still working through it myself, learning.
[00:49:35] Speaker B: And for my part, I think I would intend to share what doing half of the whole looks like. There is a lot of situations and relationships out there where each is doing 100% of half. And we've talked about that, you know, where, you know, mom. Mom raises exclusively and dad provides exclusively. And that's been going on for centuries. Like, that is. That is not a new idea. It goes all the way back to hunters and gatherers. I mean, it's. It's that old. It is. It is core DNA for us. So for my part, sharing what doing half of the whole looks like, you know, doing every other feedings, we laugh. Right. We've gotten. We got into our groove like we did in the mask business where, you know, we numbered the feedings. Right. There's four of them a night. There's a one four, and there's a two three. Right. And, I mean, just dropped right in logistically to how we run things and how our relationship works and how we, you know, how we're each accountable to doing half of the whole.
[00:50:25] Speaker A: And the last thing, if anybody has any suggestions, please hit us up in the comment box because I still have not figured out how, and I don't know if there is a solution to this, how we can achieve all of these things and spend as much time as we want with moxie without taking that out from sleeping less, right? Like, is there another way? Or is that just like, you just sleep less?
[00:50:52] Speaker B: Right? Yeah, maybe it is.
[00:50:54] Speaker A: That's my number one, one of my number one questions right now.
[00:50:57] Speaker B: Well, we'll share aggressively. If anybody has any nuggets for us, we're all ears. We're coachable. We're happy to learn we don't need to figure everything out on our own in our war room. In that regard, you're welcome into our war room. So please, we'll take it.
[00:51:09] Speaker A: Please put some comments.
[00:51:10] Speaker B: Yes and thank you. And what an unusually wonderful episode and.
[00:51:15] Speaker A: Happy six weeks to us and to moxie. Yes, indeed.
[00:51:20] Speaker B: As always, thank you so much for watching love and business. That was a fun episode to shoot.
[00:51:25] Speaker A: Today and it adds a whole different dynamic to our life end to our content now. So you can expect moving forward us to be talking about motherhood and parenthood as it relates to having a very vibrant and challenging career. And this is something that I know a lot of people can relate to. And we want to hear your stories. So please subscribe if you're interested in this content moving forward. The subscribes make a huge difference for us and we really appreciate.
[00:51:57] Speaker B: Yeah, please don't miss it. Take a moment and subscribe.
[00:52:01] Speaker A: Thanks.
[00:52:02] Speaker B: Thank you so much.
Welcome to Ace proudly talks for the Superstars tonight. Tonight.
