Parenthood: Where Careers Go To Die? | S2E40

[00:00:00] Speaker A: One of the things that came to me or that has been restored was the intentionality around everything. You just don't really take anything from a time perspective for granted. The last four or five years of our lives with grown daughters that were very self sufficient, you and I had a lot of freedom. We chose to fill that freedom and that disposable time by working. And I think one that's really come back for me is the intentionality around all of it, because you do not have control. Therefore, when things are gelling. Right, which would be quiet. Right. She's calm or not in need of attention for a moment, then that creates this intentionality with what you do in those moments. That's completely different than anything you've ever done. [00:00:52] Speaker B: So the world tells us parenthood is where business goes to. Well, today we are here to prove to you the exact opposite. And that is the topic for today. [00:01:05] Speaker A: I love it. But first. But first, a shout out to our listeners. If you recall, last time, we told everybody that only 22% of our listeners were subscribers got a little bit of an uptick. So thank you for that. But please, I'm going to give you that three count again, if you will just take a moment, reach down, hit that subscribe button for us. We don't ask a lot, but this is a biggie. Ready? Go. All right. We should see the subscriptions just ramp up. [00:01:37] Speaker B: Surge soon. [00:01:37] Speaker A: Surge. Yes, yes. I expect my phone to be on fire here moments after this drops. [00:01:43] Speaker B: But in all seriousness, we appreciate it. [00:01:44] Speaker A: Yeah. Thank you so much. [00:01:45] Speaker B: All right, let's get into it. [00:01:47] Speaker A: Oh, so parenthood is where business goes to die. I love it. [00:01:51] Speaker B: And this is. Yes. And, of course, on the cusp of. Of announcing our newborn moxie. And then, of course, have three older girls. So four girls. Four girls, yes. [00:02:05] Speaker A: And age is 22 years to 22 seconds, pretty much. That's about how long mox has been here. 22 seconds. [00:02:12] Speaker B: Yes, that's about right. And I just. And I think this is. And you can tell me if I'm wrong, particularly specific to females, because females, stereotypically are stay at home. I mean, just gender roles. Stay at home, take care of the kids. But things have changed so much with every generation, and now women like myself are working and entrepreneurs and business owners and executives, and we're just simply, you know, working and also raising children and able to do both. And I have found in my very. In the very eight weeks since I've been. Had a Chad moxie, had a child that I believe in just those eight weeks, I've become better at business, but in the forward looking, I think I'm going to become much, much better. But it's hard to say. Obviously, I'm not saying I'm an experienced parent. I'm a rookie. Still. I'm learning. But just from what I've seen in this eight weeks, I believe that I will be exponentially better at business. But I'm already seeing some of that because of the lessons and experiences in parenting. And you can speak to this in a little bit more depth, having older girls and having spent a lot more time with them. And I'm sure it's evolved for you, the things that you've learned and taken away. But that's what I want to talk about, because I want to prove to moms and parents everywhere that having a kid does not mean you are less of a business person. In fact, it can make you much better at business, and it can help your business and your job and your career. So paranoid is not where business goes to die. [00:03:58] Speaker A: Yeah, I totally agree. And you should pick your mic up just a little bit today, too. Cause it's. It's going in and out. There we go. That's the. [00:04:04] Speaker B: It is. [00:04:05] Speaker A: There we go. [00:04:05] Speaker B: Now, did everyone hear me? [00:04:06] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Yeah. I just. It was up and down a little bit, and I don't want them to miss a word. That's why. [00:04:11] Speaker B: Well, I'm. I talk pretty loud on here, so. [00:04:14] Speaker A: We'Re dropping some serious, serious stuff today. I agree. I agree to everything you just said. And I think in the prep, I said, you know, parenthood is where business goes to die, because I think, gosh, for the longest point, you know, I remember growing up at Arnold's factory supplies, and the reason I did that was because my mother needed to go back to work. You know, it was a very small organization, and she had a very critical, important role. And childcare being difficult or challenging. I mean, it's. I just went to the office. I wasn't able to stay at home, and it wasn't. And she didn't have the ability to stay at home. Neither of us could stay at home. So we both went to the office. [00:04:58] Speaker B: It's like, moxie's here today. We should have brought her in. [00:05:00] Speaker A: Yep. Moxie's here today. [00:05:02] Speaker B: Yeah, we've got the whole pack and play set up, and we make it work. [00:05:05] Speaker A: I totally agree. I think that one of the biggest differences. You asked me a lot of questions in there, and I will attempt to unpack it. And I have lots of different feelings about this as it relates to Brooke, Grace, and Olivia, who are the three oldest daughters. Oldest daughters, yes. 22, 20, and 16. When they were born, my former, their mom and I pursued what looks like or had much more. I'll call it a traditional look to it. You know, we had agreed early on that she would stop working and that she would raise them and Brooke to start and then two years later and then three and a half years later live. But that was, you know, we had discussed that and that's what we did. You know, that was the plan, and we had talked about it and had agreement around it, and I think what it did, I've spoken to this in the past, and I'm gonna speak to a little bit more just because my role, my experience is significantly different than it was, too. So I'm having an epiphany and in a completely different experience than I did with Brooke, Grace and Olivia. And even things that I might have forgotten just over the years or selected memory, I know they're very different. So just the approach. I mean, I'm going to be able to actually articulate the dad side. Right. So, yes, I'm running a business, too. Where in the past it might have been, well, you know, brits heading out of the workforce while my life changes very little, it looks exactly the same because when it comes to night feedings or Moxie's needs in different spots, I would have been doing exactly what I was all the way through. And you would have completely changed and. Or disrupted, if that's a reasonable word, disrupted your life to take care of this new addition, a newborn who's, who's. [00:07:05] Speaker B: Very demanding, it wouldn't even been disrupted. It would have been changed. [00:07:09] Speaker A: Completely. Changed my life, say disrupted. Just if the idea that you always intended to come back. [00:07:14] Speaker B: Right. [00:07:14] Speaker A: It would have disrupted it for a period of time. [00:07:16] Speaker B: I guess it looks different if you own a business. You can't really do that. But, yes, I get what you're saying. [00:07:21] Speaker A: Right. So I think the biggest difference here was that, because that was the choice that we made. I ended up doing 100% of half, and that's just the way it rolled out. And I imagine if you're listening to this and you're around my age, that you could have had a very similar experience. You know, where you were, you know, your job was to provide and make sure that the financial resources were there for everybody to have what they needed. But it can end up having this double life look to it of sorts. Not post office box double life, but where you are providing and for me building a business. I mean, those were absolutely critical, critical times in our organization. Wherever I was, even more head down than I would have been otherwise. So it ended up having this look of me doing 100% of my half. So I'm going to be able, and I'm looking forward to experiencing this in a different way than I did on my first lap. I mean, people have said, you know, I'm 53 years old with an eight week old. Let's talk. Let's talk that through for a moment. [00:08:29] Speaker B: But. Interesting. So I have had several of my male friends in the contracting world that are actually at the same exact point in their lives. I'm not gonna say it on camera. I don't know if they want their business out there. But one in particular, I think you know who I'm talking about. He's a friend, and we do a lot of work with him. He's a contract. He owns a contracting business, and he's having. There's a huge gap in his children. And he was talking to me about how different he is, how different he, like, he's able to perceive the whole thing, understand it. It's a different relationship, too, for him, but just in a completely different place. So the experience is wildly different. [00:09:11] Speaker A: Yeah. So my role is significantly different, and me as a human being in my. If I have matured at all or evolved at all, showing up this way to this setup is. Is quite a bit different than. Than what I experienced on my first lap. And that's what I. That's what I say. I mean, taking. Taking a second lap, I mean, is going to be a bit of a different experience. And a lot of two income households in the world out there, whether you own the business or don't own the business, or whatever your role is, if you're doing 100% of half, that's going to be a whole lot different than what we talk about now, which is doing half of the whole. And that's exactly how we've attacked a. That's the attack because, you know, we were under siege and how we've approached. Doing it. [00:10:02] Speaker B: Yeah. Interesting. As it relates to the relationship, part of that with your partner. I'm not sure if this was Alex Hormozi or Chris Williamson or it was somebody on their podcast, but they were talking about statistics as it relates to relationships that ultimately succeed. And by succeed, you mean people that stick together till the end. And they were saying there's three different relationships. One where you're both doing your own thing completely. The second where someone is either really? The breadwinner or. Yeah, the breadwinner or the dominant. And the other's the support. So a cheerleader type situation, and the other where the two people are working together and it's 50 50. And the stats show that that latter one, the 50 50 relationships, are much, much more successful. I think it was something that 80, 90%. So it was just an interesting stat. Don't know where they pulled it from, but it's just something to note. [00:10:56] Speaker A: We'll assume it's credible because they are. How's that? [00:10:58] Speaker B: That's why I'm referenced them, because I'm hoping they reference something that's credible, but you never know. Sure. It sounds reasonable, though, to me. [00:11:06] Speaker A: Yeah, no, no, I mean, that's certainly been our experience so far. I mean, we embody that third approach and. Yeah, so far so good. [00:11:14] Speaker B: And a lot of the things I'm gonna talk about. So there's the obvious things, I think, that come with parenthood that can translate to business and being better at business. There's a couple of things that I'm going to focus on a little bit more that is more anecdotal and I think almost more personal to me, but I want to talk about it because I'm sure there's other people that have experienced it and thought it was like an individual thing, but it might be more broad on a more broad spectrum. So the one thing, first of all, after having a child, I would say everyone, everyone in this world has masculine and feminine energy. Everyone. You're a male, but you also have feminine energy, some feminine traits, and vice versa. And I have definitely leaned into or was more aligned with masculine. And I'm not talking about how I look. I'm very feminine. I dress very feminine. But I would say societally speaking. Societally is that word. [00:12:17] Speaker A: I think you nailed it. Yep. [00:12:18] Speaker B: Societally speaking, I've probably aligned more with the masculine or even connected more with males, just cause I've been so career oriented and work, and they're just simply more males that are, that own businesses. And so I've always just aligned more with that. But after having a child, I'm definitely feeling like I am leaning in a lot more to that feminine energy that I don't feel like I ever aligned with as much in my life. And there are parts of that which is nurturing and being more empathetic. That's really valuable. If you own a business, whether you're a male or female, it's that energy, like understanding your employees, being able to connect with them, being empathetic, being nurturing to everybody you're talking about. And I didn't feel like that is something that I embodied or really had any of until I had moxie. And now I do. I do feel like that almost the moment she came out, even while I was pregnant, I felt more of that energy, which has been a really. I didn't. I didn't foresee that happening. And it's almost like it just instinctively happened. And I love it. Like, I really am, like, loving that, this chapter of my life and, like, feeling more of that energy. And I think as she gets older, I'll even develop that even more. And I think it's really helpful when I'm communicating and interacting with my team. [00:13:43] Speaker A: Yeah. And for my part, this is. I do have the ability with some, with some older children do have the ability to look back and retrospectively recognize some of the things that I got from it. And I. And I said this a lot. I mean, Brooke, Grace and Liv rounded my edges of the term, which I love, is the term that I used. I mean, while I was building the business and under incredible amounts of stress in that way, I had a very hair trigger fuse very much. I'll say this one right. Ready, fire, aim. But I don't mean in business execution, which I will kid around with now, or you wouldn't say to our team, hey, look, I'd love to be able to sit around and figure all this out, but this opportunity is fleeting. This is going to be a ready, fire, aim momentous. I mean, when I was 28, 29 years old, and our business was circling the drain pipe, ready to go down, I was talking about people, relationships, how I would show up. I would have a ready, fire. A mentality as related to communicating with people or the exact opposite of everything that you just said as related to empathy or whatever. So, you know, they were instrumental in the shifting and shaping, a lot of that that I recognized long after. And so I would expect a lot more of that. I'm not really. I'm pleasantly surprised because you're right. I mean, I had always experienced you as I think the term I used to describe you somewhere along the way is singularly focused, you know, is related to whatever you were doing. Soccer take, you know, take off, you know, take off the cleats and go into business and singly focus there, but with that same exact type of drive and intensity and relentlessness and having the ability to do that and not having really anyone else to worry about or consider. And I don't mean that in a mean way or an insensitive way? I mean, as related to getting things done. You could be that way, right? You weren't responsible for anybody else and why you loved your family and spent time and created time when you weren't doing that. Be singularly focused. Now add, you know, a child mocks and, you know, she's. She's front of mind, right? Not. Not even side of mind. I mean, while you're doing things, she's also incredibly front of mind and might be in the same room. I mean, what we've had to do as relates to adjusting our schedules to be able to be there and be around physically, or it might be a day like today where we're at work and she's here and nothing in front of us while we shoot our podcast, but she's front of mine. I mean, I'm sure you're over there right now half listening to me, half wondering what Mox is up to, right? There's no doubt in my mind. But, yeah, I think I completely agree. And I have had, you know, one lap and where I got to look back and say, boy, yeah, they really helped round my. My really hard dickish edges that needed to be rounded. And it might have taken me a lot longer if I didn't have them. [00:16:51] Speaker B: Well, let me stay on this same. Same train of thought. So I believe I hear what you're saying. And I also think she's probably rounding my edges, too. Cause I think I certainly still do have edges. You know, I've had some of my teammates in the past tell me I'm super guarded and, like, I'm not vulnerable and I don't open up. But they have quickly noticed a difference, too. I think one thing that they will say, and I think the one thing they would say is, things are not in your control anymore. I am a type a personality extreme, and I like to be in control of everything. When I'm not, I'm out of sorts. That's my schedule, that's my structure, everything. I want to be in control. Well, with the newborn or with children in general, you are not in control, and especially with a newborn, and you've got to live with. That's not the right word. Manage. That might be the better word. And I've actually come to not only manage it, but come to terms with it and sort of like it. It's almost like it's brought me a sense of calm and peace. And I told you this the other day. I've been having. I've been getting some massages just to get postpartum, to get my. A body like the feeling like it was before I got pregnant. And my massage therapist, my masseuse, she obviously. Massage therapists, they're working on your muscles, but it's a lot of energy and they're feeling your tension and your vibe and your aura. Like, that's what they're trained to do. And she said, when I walked out of there, she said, you're so much calmer than you've ever been. Cause I've gone to her for a long time. Pregnancy before pregnancy. She said, I've never had a mom, especially a new mom that I haven't felt is way more stressed after they have a baby. And she's like, you're the complete opposite. Like, is that. Am I? Is that right? And I said, I. Yes. I said, I'm not. I'm definitely not more stressed. I feel a sense of calm and I don't know if that's because maybe I've been meant to have a child. And I'm finally, like, feel. I feel myself, I feel whole. But I also think a big part of it is now things are not in my control and I've come to peace with that. And I'm nothing. I know it used to be if I didn't wake up at three or four and run 10 miles, I would just be. I mean, I would be hard, you know. Oh, yeah. Hard to deal with. [00:19:23] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:19:24] Speaker B: So I've had to let go of so many of these things I held onto so tightly. And it's actually released a lot of pressure for me. Like, I. Not that I don't still have the same goals and I still do work out a lot, but it's like finding the time when I can. And if it's not at three in the morning, it's going to be another time. It's like, you know, I wanted to look a certain way all the time. Like that's way less important. I still want to and want to maintain all these things, of course, but it's just not going to be as regimented. And it's really taken this pressure almost off of me and I think allowed me to just be a little bit more calm and at peace. And I didn't foresee that either. And when someone. And when she brought that to my attention yesterday, that really was like a light bulb moment for me. So much so that I told you about it. [00:20:13] Speaker A: Yeah. And I. And all. And I think this is, you know, a characteristic of a types. Anyway, putting my psychology hat on, which I don't have. But I do get to watch a lot of people in motion. You know, I think you in particular, and I think all as, and me, but you even to a very heightened measure, when things would go out of your control, your natural response was to clamp down on them harder. Right. Would be to. Would be to try to exhibit. Exhibit or exert more control in that direction. And I think that's. That's the biggest difference, is. Is, you know, you would double down, triple down, and you could even quadruple down at times on restoring your control. [00:20:56] Speaker B: That is. You've never said that out loud, but that couldn't be more true. [00:21:01] Speaker A: I was scared, but, yeah. [00:21:05] Speaker B: Don't think that's going away completely. [00:21:06] Speaker A: Oh, no. I don't know. I totally get it. But there's that. That has certainly been visible. I have seen that. And flex. But truly being okay with it, not parking it for a minute and parking it for you in those moments was actually letting it sit over there and fester and start to expand on its own. And then when it blew, it would really blow. And if you got into a situation where two days like that happen in a row, they can almost be paralyzing to you in spots. Right. [00:21:35] Speaker B: And it didn't. I mean, I don't think I could have let it get to that. [00:21:37] Speaker A: Yeah, well, you would do whatever it took to regain control, and that's dangerous. And I agree with you. And same that. I think the intentionality as you were doing the lead in and the build up, one of the words that came to me, and I'm not trying to shift, but one of the things that came to me or that has been restored was the intentionality around everything and how you just don't really take anything from a time perspective for granted. I mean, we, you know, in the moment that we just came from, that was the last four or five years of our lives with grown daughters that were very self sufficient. You and I had a lot of freedom and a lot of flexibility, and we chose to fill that freedom and that time and that disposable time. We disposed of it by working. I mean, that's exactly what we did. And we would. We didn't really put guardrails or a goalpost around it, because that time was somewhat free. And we would sacrifice other things. We wouldn't go out together, we would stay head down, or we would do certain things, or we wouldn't sleep. Yeah, sleep would be something, but different for different reasons. And I think one that's really come back for me is the intentionality around all of it, because you are out of. You do not have control. I mean, trying to figure out Moxxi's cues is really hard. And just when you think you've got it figured out and you try all of your things, none of them work, and it's a new game. And it's constantly a new game. And therefore, when things are gelling. Right, which would be quiet. Right. She's calm or she's in a great spot or not in need of attention for a moment, then that creates this intentionality with what you do in those moments that you just got. That's completely different than anything you've ever done. [00:23:30] Speaker B: Yeah. And I love the segue moving into this, this intentionality piece, time management, prioritize, prioritization. I think that's all aggregated into this one topic, because what we would do, because I constantly say to you, well, what did I do with all my free time before this? And I've said that to my parents before, and they were like, you worked. That's what you did. How often did we. I'm thinking of this. I'm talking to you out loud right now. Live course. How often did we say, we got to go out? It was like at night. Because if we don't, like, I'm going to blow, like, so many nights, we would just be like, we got to get off the grid. We got to do this. Because the pressure was so high. It was like we reached this boiling point that if you and I didn't just get away for a minute, and by the way, we talked about business the entire time, we would go somewhere, it was like we were going to blow. And that happens. I'm just thinking about how often that was, because just the pressure and the tension, we would just work nonstop. And not that work isn't still a priority. It is. It's just that we are so much more intentional with our time that before, I believe there was a lot of working to work, there was not as much working with intentionality. Right. [00:24:46] Speaker A: Well, what just hit me in my head was old Mick would have said, or would have said, well, yeah, and I'm working just as hard. Instead, what I would say is, yeah, and I'm getting just as much done. Completely different. [00:24:57] Speaker B: Completely different. [00:24:59] Speaker A: But I'm working just as hard. I don't know. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. I don't care. I haven't paid any attention to it because I know the people around me have not had any change in their experience of my results. And you know how I know? Because I ask them and I check in. I wrote an email to the team the other day, and I think I might have written it in an apology way, just because I had been absent, you know, I had been more physically absent of. From the organization in the last eight weeks, just based on what we've had to do and keep up with and this. [00:25:32] Speaker B: But that's part of that 50. 50% of the time. [00:25:33] Speaker A: That's 50% of the half. Right. [00:25:34] Speaker B: Because I'm not at home. [00:25:36] Speaker A: That's right. When I was doing 50% of my half. And right now, for the first three months, one of us has to be with. Despite having help, one of us has to be with Mox, period. If one's out, one's in. And I wrote in an apologetic way or just acknowledging that I recognize that my physical presence here is different than it's looked. I mean, I've missed some Mondays, which was not a thing, you know, like, Monday was. Monday is in office day. I've had to do some of it remotely. I've had to change my mode, my means of communication. So I just checked in and said, look, I want you to know that I know you know, you know that I know that you know that I know one of those things. And, you know, to a person, it was short. If it wasn't the fact that you just aren't here. When I'm used to being here, I wouldn't have known anything different. [00:26:27] Speaker B: And maybe they're like, it's amazing, actually. [00:26:29] Speaker A: Yeah. You know what? [00:26:30] Speaker B: Barking over my shoulder. [00:26:32] Speaker A: Yeah. Right? And I might be out of the way for a second, which might do the organization a lot of good, or some things will get figured out in an organic way instead of asked, you know? And I will say that, you know, when I'm on these traveling runs or when I'm out for a period of time, you're like, it's amazing. Thing gets things get done. You know, why think when you can ask, and if I'm here, you can ask, if I'm out, then you'll take it on and think. But that's just been a byproduct as well, in recognizing the intentionality, back to our original point, the intentionality of really, really being great in those moments that you have to do what you have to do. Because if it's just you or just me and Mox comes off the rails. She comes off the rails, and she requires attention. [00:27:20] Speaker B: You can't work and watch her. I like, if you're. If you're solely watching her and she's not sleeping. Like, you, you can't, you cannot do both like, she is hands on. Um, it's, you've got to be done by the time you're taking her when she is awake and you are fully responsible, like, you are not going to multitask with her. [00:27:38] Speaker A: Right. And if it's after 05:00 when our, you know, when our, our help for the day goes home, does it go home? [00:27:45] Speaker B: That's what I'm saying. [00:27:46] Speaker A: After that 05:00 hour, when it's back to us and we have responsibility from 05:00 p.m. until 07:00 a.m. i mean, it is, it is a zone, and. [00:27:57] Speaker B: We want to be, we want to do that. Oh, yeah, yeah. [00:27:58] Speaker A: But I'm just saying now, how changed what we'd have done in the past? You'd have posted up on your side of the couch. I'd have posted up on my side of the couch. We'd have done whatever. We'd had one ear on the baseball game and, you know, talk back and forth a little bit, and we'd have done that for a very long period of time. And that look just doesn't exist anymore. [00:28:16] Speaker B: It doesn't. And it's not about doing less or cutting corners or anything like that. It's just being way more efficient and effective with your time. We know that 05:00 is coming. And after that, if you didn't get that quote out or you didn't get that email out, you might get it later when she's sleeping, you know, but it's, maybe it's going to be an hour from now or 2 hours from now. And so it's like, get the shit done. [00:28:40] Speaker A: Yeah, 457. Like, you're watching 457. [00:28:43] Speaker B: It just, 457. [00:28:44] Speaker A: 458 in the past 04:02 could have turned into 802, and you'd be like, I don't know. I only know it's 802 because it's the second inning of the game. [00:28:52] Speaker B: And then the other part of it, I want to be with her and I want to be present and I want to be mindful, which I am. Like everyone has said, the years go by so fast. Soak it in. Like I have done. I don't think a lot of people can say I really did. I have. I really tried to, I think we both have really tried to soak every minute in, and part of that is being mindful and present and not thinking about the quotes and the work that I didn't get done. So it means getting it done before we have her. I want to be with her when I'm with her. And playing, and playing, really, for me, means trying to make our baby genius, making her neck stronger. Okay. I still type a. That didn't go away. [00:29:37] Speaker A: I can't wait to see until we shoot the episode you have out. Dads shelter your children from unrealistic expectations from their crazy ass mothers. That's gonna be. That's gonna be one of our upcoming. [00:29:48] Speaker B: So that's our playtime. Better human. But no, in seriousness, like, it's. It's. It's my favorite time with her, which is actually the. [00:29:56] Speaker A: But playtime is you running around her and her watching you run around like a jerk. [00:30:01] Speaker B: Right. Well, after we actually run together in the morning. [00:30:04] Speaker A: Yeah. Then the win is if she picks her head up to see a split second of it, then she's baby genius again. [00:30:09] Speaker B: Exactly. Yeah, that's right. But so it's so true. And so there's the prioritization in work, but then there's also the prioritization of values and family. And I spoke to this a little bit in the episode where we introduced moxie and unveiled our secret. But I just understand why I'm. Do I? Why I've been doing all of this. When I say all of this, working so hard and building a career. And maybe along the way, in the beginning, it was for the money or whatever I thought it was, but now I know that it was just to build the person, the best person I could be, to have a family and to, like, give everything back to family, immediate, extended, and even community. Just like that is so important. Like, the relationships. And when I'm with her, I'm like, this is what it's for. When I'm with you guys, you, her, our family, I'm like, this is what it's all for. Like, this is it right here. It's just like, now I understand what I value and what means the most. And it's definitely family, like, first. And I've just really. So much stuff has solidified in my mind, and having moxie has helped do that and helped me really prioritize what I truly value in life. [00:31:32] Speaker A: Yeah. Well, so, quick cut in. Definitely not where business goes to die. Certainly not here. And I think there is. You know, without overtly discussing it, I think you and I have been working on this for a very long period of time. And I say that because I. Because the transition into parenthood together has been relatively easy. It's hard. Like, don't. I'm not. I'm nothing. I'm saying that not. Not that parenting. The parenting part is easy. That us understanding and acknowledging and rallying to our parts, you know? And by the way, they're all overlapped. I don't do this, and you don't do that. Right. I mean, it's not that you don't change all the diapers and I make all the bottles. It's not. You change half the diapers and I make half the bottles, and then the flip of all of that. But I think that the rhythm that we've established together, whether it's just working together, the fact that we work in adjacent industries, the fact that you're a supplier, that's how we got started. We have a podcast together. I feel like all of that has just been building up to sharing this responsibility. And I say that because of how effortless. Getting into the roles. The role's hard as shit. I mean, I'm not. I'm gonna be very clear audience. The role is hard as shit. But getting into the role. Similar to the mask business that we talked about. Right? The mask business, you know, spinning up a business on our couch and each of us. [00:33:10] Speaker B: And producing masks. [00:33:11] Speaker A: And producing masks and each of us doing maybe not quite 100%. A half. We definitely had some specialties in there, but I feel like all of that in the last five, six years has prepared us to be able to come together around this mission like we have other missions. [00:33:31] Speaker B: Yes. I couldn't agree more. And one thing, as we're talking about spending more time with Moxie and family and prioritizing and all the girls. Yeah, of course. [00:33:44] Speaker A: And Brooke and Grace and Liv. [00:33:45] Speaker B: Yeah. And I mean, and they. They're self sufficient, and they have lives, and they're in college. They're. Well, two are in college. They're doing their own thing. And just don't. Just simply don't have as many needs. That's, you know, it's a different. They're in a different stage. And by the way, don't want dad around. Don't. Don't want parents around. [00:34:04] Speaker A: Right. Want us when they want us. Do not want us when they don't want us. [00:34:07] Speaker B: It's just a different stage. [00:34:08] Speaker A: Well, that's exactly how I've experienced. Quick comment, because I want to get this in for our listeners, too. That's exactly how I've experienced, you know, having kids that are 22 years apartheid. I mean, they're all daughters, and they're all wildly important, and they're. At the same time, they're all in different parts of their evolution and their needs are different. And I think one of the interesting things for me has been paying attention to and really focusing on parsing out what those needs are because I never really had a newborn to compare to their needs. But when you stack those up, what it's done is it's actually pointed me in the direction of how, despite them being reasonably close in age, you know, two years and then three and a half the older girls close in age, how their needs are still significantly different, too. Watching Mox and her needs has helped me or given me a better skill in parsing the needs of the others, which I think makes me more attentive to it. And I'm. And I know that's also going to carry over into all of my other relationships, business and otherwise. [00:35:12] Speaker B: Yes. And while we are spending more time on family and in family and prioritizing, that means that to successfully run our businesses, you know, I was joking when I said some people might be ecstatic. Not ecstatic, sorry. That you're not as round. You're not as round as I. [00:35:33] Speaker A: That's fair. Tommy's over there chuckling. He completely agrees. [00:35:36] Speaker B: But I've listened to. [00:35:37] Speaker A: Sorry, Tommy. We can all be honest here. [00:35:39] Speaker B: I've listened to a ton of CEO's say that they pulled back or they delegated and they were thinking it was the end of their company. And they've done reviews, honest reviews with their employees and their employers are like, no, it's way better without you here. And I always think about that because I'm like, is that what my teammates would say? Like, it's kind of nice not having her around. And I think the answer is probably yes, because I am so type a and intense and my team is not that all. I mean, in spurts, but, like, not to the degree. And it might be nice and situationally. Yeah. [00:36:14] Speaker A: Yeah. Two great words for intense, Zachary. [00:36:16] Speaker B: And so where I'm going with this is I have especially maybe you two, but I feel like I've especially had to delegate more and empower more. And that comes with I have to develop my leadership skills. So now I'm not. I mean, I'm still running and leading a lot of the charge, but there's been, from the beginning, I've had to delegate more. I've had to give more trust. I've had to empower more, and not only now for the long term, too, because I know where I want the company to go. I know where the girls and our family's needs are going to be and looking long term for the businesses to grow and to us to continue to build our family. I have to delegate. This has become exponentially more important, and I've done that and I need to continue to do that. That's definitely been, if you are a parent, you can definitely understand you simply aren't going to have the time. So you better figure out how to delegate or bring in the help of very capable individuals that you may or may not in our situation, we hired because we trusted them so much and give them the ability to lead. [00:37:31] Speaker A: Yep. And I would say the same thing. And you're talking about the business side and then the same thing on the raising of the child side. You're also going, we're also going to have to invite in trusted individuals to help in that part. [00:37:43] Speaker B: Like that's harder than me. Than the business part. [00:37:45] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, kiddingly around here I say, but I'm not kidding. I laugh when I say it, which doesn't mean I'm kidding. Well, get ready. You all are going to have a very significant part in raising mox. You know, she's going to be here a lot when we come to work. She's going to be coming to work. [00:38:01] Speaker B: Especially when she gets a little older. [00:38:02] Speaker A: And when I say it takes a village, I mean, it takes a village. And then going on forward, you know, coaches, obviously, you had a huge. You had coaches. I had coaches. Tommy had coaches. I mean, if you look back at the people that helped shape you, it's just by virtue of time, especially as you get older, your parents are with you less and less and less, and the rest of the world, hopefully it's not that damn phone, but your coaches and your teachers and your other friends, they're with you more and more and more. And that's going to be a shift in the delegation process or an invitation to other people to help us along the way, just like we do. Just like we need to be doing in our business job and our roles as well. [00:38:43] Speaker B: Yes, absolutely. And we are. We are. We talked about we're lucky. Like, we also have family here and surrounding moxie, which when you can have family that you trust and know around the child you're raising, I mean, it makes such a significant difference and I love it. The more she can be around family, the better. And I just want to point that out because it's a different situation that we have that a lot of other people don't necessarily have. Going on a completely different tangent here, one other thing that I didn't necessarily foresee being a cross section in parenthood and business is this piece around creativity. So, one thing I was talking, my mom helped for the first six weeks when, before our help came in, she lived with us, and so we took walks, and we had a lot of great talks. And one of the things I, I remember telling my mom while we were walking one day is I'm really excited for the creativity side of raising a child, the imagination, because think about when you're a kid, nothing's off limits, and your imagination is limitless. And I've been thinking about this as I'm looking at the books that I want to read to her. And I used to just love reading fiction. I've gotten away from reading fiction. Now I just do all nonfiction. And I want to get back to it because I think there is something to keeping your imagination alive as an adult. I think there's really something to it. I don't think, and I want to do it more. Something about it really fascinates me. And when you're continually keeping, whether that's reading fiction or being with kids who have this, they don't know anything. So they're just like, everything's a possibility. I think that helps expand our mind and our creativity. And I really think that's going to translate into business, like thinking of just creative things that you might not necessarily have thought about or truly considered. And it's not exactly, I mean, right now she's so young, but as she gets older and starts, we can read some books and get more, and she's starting to get more creative and talking. I really think that, and I'm really looking forward to, like, that imagination piece and playing with her and getting back into just like, being a kid, because there's just, in my mind, there's something to that. And I think that is going to spark a lot of business creativity, too. Just life creativity. [00:41:05] Speaker A: Right. How about start some of the start over moments, like, you know, playtime is looking at black and white books, right? Yeah. Walking it all the way back to high contrast, which is black and white books. Right. And recognizing that, you know, she, as a newborn, starts with only twelve inches of vision, and everything out past twelve inches is blurry. And that's it. That's an interesting idea. And back into that creativity, where, you know, you only have this small purview in your life to start, and it's only twelve inches. It's only twelve inches long, and everything after that is blurry. And as you get a little older, then you get a little more clarity and a little more clarity and a little more clarity. And it's just. It's just fun to watch the start of the entire journey. Cause who pays any attention to that when you're so busy doing the 400 other things you're responsible for? [00:41:59] Speaker B: Yeah. And for any parents, like new parents especially, that are listening. One thing I've told you is, I wish that I love, I love running a business, but it would be cool at times. I'm thinking to be home with Moxie 24/7 like, the things I would build out for that, like, the milestone schedules and, like, the games and how creative. Like, I would just spend all my time developing, like, these developmental, stimulating games and things to do with her. But we do have a really cool tool now called chat GPT. And just this morning, well, what did you type in? [00:42:32] Speaker A: Develop. Develop a play schedule for an eight week old. It should involve all of her faculties, physical and mental. And in 20 seconds, we had a four page document that talked about, oh, I think it was a one month schedule. I said I'd like a one month schedule, and I thought, I didn't know if it was going to do it by daily. So chat GPT in 20 ish seconds puts together four pages. Week one, do this. Week two, do that. And it was absolutely masterful. And you could then grab one of those ideas and you could have it build out on that. So you imagine the volumes that you would have if you then went to each of those ideas and said, build out on this idea of. And then you'd have another four pages times, four weeks times. I mean, you'd have a book in no time and would really just be a how to of exercise. [00:43:25] Speaker B: Hey, don't tell the people this. This is our idea. [00:43:28] Speaker A: Why? They're listeners. That's what they come here for. [00:43:31] Speaker B: Well, and that's something like, someone is watching your child full time. You could. Which I think we're gonna do this. Yeah, but I mean, it was, it was just even things like, read them a book and have them a tummy time book, but have them touch the textures in the book. Just stuff like that. And I was like, this is exactly. Cause I get this feeling where I want to do the best. When I'm obsessed with things. I'm obsessed, and I'm obsessed with Moxxi. She is everybody, like, how do I do everything for her that I can to help her develop? And it would be creating this, like. [00:44:07] Speaker A: Well, there was a great one in there that talked about narrating the day, by the way. They weren't over the top. They weren't hard. You didn't have to build a jungle gym or anything. They were very narrate the day. Tell her what you did. Tell her what you're doing. [00:44:18] Speaker B: I mean, one of the trends I've seen, which I definitely want to do, is showing her all the spaces she. She hasn't seen. So, like, holding her above the refrigerator. Holding and, like. So I will be running through the house showing moxie all the places she hasn't seen, but she comes back sneezing. [00:44:32] Speaker A: With dust bunnies on her face. I'll know that you showed her under. You showed her under the bed? [00:44:35] Speaker B: Yes. So it'll be places I haven't even seen. These two. [00:44:40] Speaker A: That could be helpful for our cleaning. [00:44:43] Speaker B: Just. Just a tangent there, but one last thing I want to talk about, which, as we were talking, this came to mind, which I can't believe it wasn't. The first thing on my list is health and wellness has always been important to both of us. And I think we've. We always prioritize it, but I definitely am prioritizing it even more, especially when it comes to, like, food and nutrition. Like, there are things in our life that we can do nutrition and exercise, too. [00:45:10] Speaker A: Yep. [00:45:11] Speaker B: That any person on this planet can do and will become a better human in all capacities of your life. Just those two things. Why wouldn't we all make those a priority? I mean, easier said than done. I get it. [00:45:24] Speaker A: Well, that's where the work begins. But that's identifies easy, penetrates harder. [00:45:27] Speaker B: That's where the work begins. And Moxxi's so young, I want her to grow up seeing us make these really good decisions, and I don't want to. When all of a sudden she's ready to, when she can consume solid foods. We're changing everything to get healthy. Like, I want to make sure we're doing all of that now, so that. And she's seeing it. And then when it's time for her to start consuming, like, it's just falling into our patterns. But the health and wellness piece, like, prioritizing that there is nothing more important than you being healthy to your employees at work, just as important as to your kids, you know, but that. I think when you have a child and you're all of a sudden a little bit more in touch with your mortality, and you understand what it means to be healthy. I want to be the mom who's doing things with my kid. Like, when she is playing soccer, I want to be playing soccer. I don't want to be sitting on the sideline spectating. If she wants to climb a tree, I want to be in the tree with her. [00:46:31] Speaker A: Well, I want to play soccer and climb a tree, and that's going to be a lot tougher lift for me. [00:46:34] Speaker B: It is, but you can't. [00:46:36] Speaker A: That's why I've got to stay on my game. [00:46:38] Speaker B: I think about these things, like, I am not going to be a spectator in my child's life. Like, I'm going to be there playing, rolling around, and not thinking about how I'm going to tweak an ankle while I do it. So these things I'm thinking about, but that's only going to translate that healthier and more fit we are into our business and every other part of our life. So if you give a shit as being the best parent you can be, your health and your wellness is going to be your priority, period. [00:47:09] Speaker A: Well, just from a performance perspective, we talk about performance in business all the time and the demands. And one thing, and I had made a note, I think it's appropriate to push it through right now is one thing I've had to regain control of is pushing through being tired. That wasn't something that I had to do when it was just the two of us because we did have all that disposable time. And if you took a nap, it wasn't a big deal. Or, you know, when did we take a nap? Well, you know, I would, I would doze off on a Saturday at 01:00 or something, or a Sunday after a tough week or catch up if we. Or maybe we had a demanding social schedule. Poor us a demanding social schedule, whatever that even means. [00:47:50] Speaker B: But blowing off steam had so much stress. [00:47:53] Speaker A: Right? But, you know, or, you know, now when I expected the night with moxie to go this way and it goes that way, and now it's 1015. And she finally decided that she's going to park it for a little bit, having to push through getting those things done because, you know, I've, you know, it's always been for me, end of day is end of the day. 12:59 p.m. that's end of day for me. Not 459. But, man, it's, it's been a bit more of a challenge. And where I had, you know, committed to doing something. And most of the people that I work with know, end of day means midnight or open it will be. It'll be there before you get to your desk on Monday morning is a lot of things, right. It'll be executable when you need it to be executable. But I've had to master pushing through tired in spots. [00:48:41] Speaker B: Yeah. There's no Saturday or Sunday recovery. [00:48:43] Speaker A: No, no, there's not. There's not. And, you know, I feel like a dolphin at times. Like sleeping with one eye open in case a predator comes around. I feel like a dolphin, but that's something I've had to re get my arms around. Is pushing through being really, really tired. [00:48:59] Speaker B: Yeah. And also being very responsible when. When we are out of knowing that you're going to be up all night and there is no getting around that. And you are responsible for that child and making sure she eats. [00:49:10] Speaker A: Yeah. Yep. So translate to business. That's for sure. [00:49:14] Speaker B: Yes. So those are. Those are. I mean, I feel like that's just scraping the surface. [00:49:22] Speaker A: Oh, I have. I have a laundry list of things here, too. That was one of the fastest times, periods ever. [00:49:28] Speaker B: I think we've got to come back to this topic and just go through another 45, 50 minutes because it's important and it's so applicable to so many people. And I think helpful as we talk through it, like, you know, just stop listening to the narrative that everybody tells you where you can't be a great parent and you can't be super or even more successful in your career. You can and you are and you will, but believe it. And you've got to put the work in. [00:50:00] Speaker A: Obviously, like everything else we talk about, you got to put the work in. [00:50:02] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:50:02] Speaker A: Look, I mean, only eight weeks in, I have a whole page full of things. Imagine what we'll learn in the next eight weeks. Right? I mean, it's. It's a never ending, growing, evolving situation, which is. Which is great, I think. You know, I always talk about watching her experience things for the first time. Well, you for sure, as a first time mom, literally are experiencing a lot of things for the first time. She's watching you just as much as you're watching her. And I'm watching all of you. [00:50:25] Speaker B: Well, she is from twelve inches away. [00:50:28] Speaker A: Well, you're always in her face, so that doesn't matter. [00:50:30] Speaker B: Well, I will be until she can see a little further. [00:50:33] Speaker A: All right. We did it. [00:50:35] Speaker B: Cheers. [00:50:35] Speaker A: No, we literally. We did it. Yay, moxie. That's what I say when she gets her diaper change, when she poops. We did it. We did it. Yay, moxie. [00:50:46] Speaker B: All right, that's enough of that. See ya. [00:50:48] Speaker A: Well, thank you for joining us for another episode of Love and. And business. New ask today, simple. Just a quick like reach out, hit that little like button for us. Not nearly the commitment that we ask in in the land of subscribe but if you feel like it you should. [00:51:06] Speaker B: Subscribe cause I mean you already did it the first time but if you missed you can do it now. And if you like this content and you're interested in more hearing more about our parenthood journey and as it relates integrates with business, then keep listening because there's a lot more where that came from and comment. [00:51:25] Speaker A: Drop us a show note, put something in the bottom. I promise you we will answer. We will tell you through our non sleeping bleary eyed selves what we experience. Drop us a note please engage. We want you to engage and I promise you that we will be right back. Engaging just as hard and just as often. [00:51:42] Speaker B: Thank you so much. [00:51:43] Speaker A: See you soon. Probably touch for the superstar tonight. Tonight incredible, credible.